Faux Marketing

Ready to have some marketing fun? Alrighty then, let’s dive in. Below is a real quote on a real website that I’m sure you can find with little effort – it perfectly summates the sorry state of marketing we sadly must endure today.

“Faux marketing – which persuades a consumer to buy something the seller wants him to purchase rather than buying it because it fulfills an actual need or want – can be the most powerful tool in your arsenal and give you a competitive advantage against even the biggest of competitors.”

But wait, there’s more!

“You can even use faux marketing as a cheap way to advertise your name to thousands of customers.”

After a little investigating, I think the article was written by a faux writer too.

This is real life folks, I wish this was faux news, but you really can’t make this stuff up.

Sad but true.

You’ve heard me say it many times before, but this may be all the proof you need that the marketing buzzards have indeed ruined everything in the marketing world.

Pro Tip

If you decide to add “faux marketing” to your marketing arsenal to gain a competitive advantage, be wary not to make the following faux pas…

…don’t outright deceive the customer, just be cleverly deceptive…

…don’t physically injure the customer, but mental torture will work just fine…

…be sure to fake your faux so it goes entirely unnoticed by your competition…

…trickery is best practiced 12 months out of the year, not just around Halloween…

…excessive exaggeration is fine so long as you espouse on forsaken truths…

… fake sales funnels work best when your lead magnet is also fake…

…excessively exploit your fake friends on Facebook to your fullest advantage…

…use AI-generated faux messaging to stay emotionally detached and avoid guilt.

May the faux force be with you!

Faux Meta

Imagine throwing a party and inviting 100 guests – you send out the formal invitations and receive confirmation that all 100 invitees will attend.

Planning carefully for the event, you hire a security guard named Mark to verify all attendees’ names and invites.

One hour after the party starts you are perplexed why only 7 confirmed attendees showed up so you ask Mark to explain…

…”Well, all 100 confirmed attendees did show up as planned, but I only let 7 of them into the party,”

Mark says with an algorithmic smirk.

In a nutshell, that’s Facebook.

Did you know that it’s almost impossible to reach your fan base with organic content anymore on Facebook?

But wait, there’s more!

Just last month, Facebook came under fire as new whistleblower accusations and leaked documents revealed the failure to heed internal concerns over the spread of misinformation, hate speech, illegal activity, and conspiracy theories.

Unsurprisingly, the faux show that is Facebook assembled as many of their “brilliant talking heads” as they could find and decided now would be a great time to rebrand Facebook and change their name to “Meta.”

“It is time for us to adopt a new company brand to encompass everything we do.”

CEO Mark Zuckerberg 

That’s about as “faux” as “faux” gets, or maybe Forrest Gump says it better, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

I could write a book on this entire subject, but please don’t tempt me.

Wait, this sounds eerily like the very definition of faux marketing we uncovered previously…

…Faux marketing persuades a consumer to buy something the seller wants him to purchase rather than buying it because it fulfills an actual need or want.

These are dangerous times in the marketing world my friends, proceed at your own risk.

Closing side note on this – what would you do with the valuable time you could recapture in your life if you stopped spending it on chasing vanity metrics on social media channels and faux party metrics?

Faux Facts

And finally…

According to Spamlaws.com, nearly 85% of emails are spam – that translates into an average daily volume of 122.33 billion messages globally.

And who would have thought – the most prevalent type of spam is advertising-related email, which accounts for approximately 36% of all spam messages.

Despite the spam filters working better than ever, my wrist still aches from clicking “delete” several thousand times a week to remove the unwanted digital pests that buzz about endlessly.

The prevailing digitized marketing madness of today reminds me of the 1998 film The Truman Show staring Jim Carrey.  Although he doesn’t know it, everything in Jim’s life (who plays Truman) is part of a massive TV set.

It’s a faux life, for reals!

It’s even spawned a faux syndrome called the “Truman Show Delusion,” – a type of delusion in which the person believes that their lives are staged reality shows.

Wow…that almost sounds a bit too surreal, doesn’t it?

Stay informed and unruly out there my friends ~

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