The Abilene Paradox: Why People Choose to Conform Rather than Speak Up

The Abilene Paradox is a phenomenon in which a group of people makes a unanimous decision that goes against their individual wishes and interests. It is a failure to manage agreement and is often a result of the pressure to conform in group decision-making. Today, this paradox is all around us, especially on social media platforms where members seek conformity at all costs, choosing to join the herd and acting against their own interests.

By

Share

Groupthink and the Abilene Paradox

Why do people who privately disagree with a collective unanimous decision choose to not voice their real feelings and just go along instead?

Proposed by Jerry B. Harvey (1974), a professor of management science at George Washington University, the “Abilene Paradox” describes a situation in which a group of people decides unanimously even though it’s against the wishes and interests of its members.

Harvey coined the paradox in a story about a trip his family made to Abilene, Texas.  Jerry B. Harvey’s father-in-law was trying to make conversation and was concerned that his family was growing bored sitting at home, so he suggested they take a ride to Abilene to have dinner.  Despite no genuine interest in making the hour-plus trip on a hot summer afternoon, the family all agreed to the journey.

Harvey called it a “failure to manage agreement.”

It’s a close cousin to today’s Groupthink.

If you’re paying attention, the Abilene Paradox is all around you.

Take social media for instance, where members of the group seek conformity at all costs, willfully choosing to join the herd seeking acceptance while simultaneously acting against their own interests.

The dynamics of group decision-making and the pressure to conform are foundational to every social media platform.

It’s Groupthink and the Abilene Paradox mixed together like a fizzy Spring cocktail.

Why would someone choose to stick their neck out and voice their opinion that is against that of the members of the group?  Or worse, choose to voice a dissenting opinion that is opposed to the prevailing opinion?

Better to blend in and blindly follow the consensus, right?

Fine for those out there that like to find shelter in the foxhole, but not for the unruly types.

Beware the echo chambers that surround you in your daily life and seek knowledge and truth!

The Leadership Dilemma

Leaders face their own dilemmas in their quest to lead individuals and members of a group.

Can the very act of leadership inadvertently create an Abilene Paradox?

Based on my personal experience…me thinks so.

What I’ve discovered in my 30-plus years in business is that most people prefer to be led and follow the leader versus becoming one themselves.

Let’s use the 80/20 rule here and deduce that approximately 8 out of every 10 people prefer to follow a leader and be led.

What you’ll find is that leaders create “consensus” through leading – the individuals that choose to follow and form the group are typically unanimous in their decision to believe, trust, follow, and assume what the leader says to do is what they should do.

Back to the Abilene Paradox – Jerry B. Harvey’s father-in-law decided to take a leadership role in the group by recommending a trip to Abilene – then the individuals of the group individually followed his “lead” and decided to make the grueling trip.

Because it’s the path of least resistance for the individuals in the group.

This begs an important question…

…what Abilene Paradox do you find yourself in at this very moment?

I bet you’ve got a few on your hands.

That’s ok – you’re far from alone.

So, what’s the antidote to avoid the Abilene Paradox?

First, acknowledge it.

Second, just say no.

If you study the most successful and wealthy people in history, you’ll find one common characteristic that they all share…

…their decisiveness in saying “no.”

In fact, you’ll find they are better at “subtraction” than “addition,” – meaning they purposely eliminate everything that interferes with their “yes” focus and attention.

They only make intelligent agreements.

Beware the sad tale of the Abilene Paradox – it’s powerful and self-destructive.

In a way, our perspective is a paradigm itself.

The way we see and interpret the world around us is based on our experiences, beliefs, assumptions, and values.

If we falsely choose to share assumptions that we don’t believe in or our counter to our experiences and values, we conform to paradigms that are not our own.

Just say no.

It’s why I prefer to stay constructively unruly and fight the status quo.

It’s equilibrium for my perspective.

It’s a balance for my paradigms.

Just because it’s a crazy world out there doesn’t mean you have to agree and join in.

To your newfound ability to say no.

RELATED TAGS

The Medici Effect

Unlocking innovation often requires looking beyond our own experiences. From chefs blending cuisines to musicians merging genres, mixing insights sparks creativity. True success, in business and life, stems from seeking wisdom outside our norms and daring to face adversity head-on. Embrace the unconventional—where wisdom meets possibility.

Writing Instruments: What Makes a Pen Worth $1,410

The meticulous language and high price tag create an aura of superiority, but the real value is in the brand, which suggests unparalleled excellence. Luxury brands tap into the logic that higher prices equate to better quality.

Studio Rick Joy’s Tubac House: Of the Heavens & Earth

Even by Studio Rick Joy's standards, Tubac House is of uncommon stature. Located south of Tucson, roughly 25 miles from the northern Mexico border, the project exploits and explores a relationship to worlds both immediate and distant.
  • September 4, 2024
  • Jenn Thornton

Vincent Van Duysen: Redefines Minimalist Design

Architect Vincent Van Duysen adds another honest intervention to his repertoire of understated designs with his tour to de force transformation of a 19th century convent into an urban hotel.
  • August 21, 2024
  • Jenn Thornton

Schenkar Luxury Homes: Cutting-edge Sustainability in Scenic Guatapé

Built by Schenkar Luxury Homes, this stunning house in Guatapé, Colombia, showcases innovative design harmonized with the natural landscape. Founder Alex Schenkar, with almost two decades of experience, created a sustainable, erosion-resistant home cantilevered over a 55-degree cliff.
  • May 29, 2024
  • Karine Monié

Clayton Korte: Going Underground

Wine, from its earliest days, required the storage of its age, with solutions both inelegant and sophisticated. The Egyptians had mud-bricked and limestone cellars, the Romans fumitories and catacombs, the Italian's damigiana.
  • May 15, 2024
  • Jenn Thornton
Sign Up for DIGS Newsletters